One Month Old
Lots of thoughts as we reach the one month mark. Things are still pretty difficult..Jonah's sleep patterns have not organized themselves yet, so still we continue the erratic all night feedings. Some days I feel trapped and unhappy, other days I handle things well. I'm finding that it is vital to speak with other women and moms, get out of the house, eat some ice cream. Things still do not feel anywhere near normal which is difficult for any human-as we find comfort in our routines and day to day banalities. I'm learning just how much I found comfort in them. At the same time, though, Michael and I were ready for a new chapter in our lives and we sure did get what we asked for:)
Today I was thinking that although I have always been a person who challenged herself, that this is by far the most difficult thing I have ever undertaken. And no one prepared me for how difficult it would be. In fact today I was feeling a bit like a failure because it seems that everyone else handles this period in their baby's lives just fine-but start to confide in anyone who's had a little one, and you will start to hear all the same stories. I guess that's what happens with the passage of time-you forget just how difficult things were and move on. Thus-families with more than one child.
One positive thing I have started to understand-my intuition about the baby and what the baby needs is usually correct. I'm sure this will grow as he gets older too. But it's something that I need to listen to and trust.
On to another subject...I had a wonderful visit tonight from my friend Elke. She simply came over to hang out and chat. And what a perfect gift for someone in my position. She came over and got me out of my own head for a little while..and that is worth so much right now-more than any gift of clothing, or what not for the baby. So thanks Elke!
Ok-off to night duty.
Today I was thinking that although I have always been a person who challenged herself, that this is by far the most difficult thing I have ever undertaken. And no one prepared me for how difficult it would be. In fact today I was feeling a bit like a failure because it seems that everyone else handles this period in their baby's lives just fine-but start to confide in anyone who's had a little one, and you will start to hear all the same stories. I guess that's what happens with the passage of time-you forget just how difficult things were and move on. Thus-families with more than one child.
One positive thing I have started to understand-my intuition about the baby and what the baby needs is usually correct. I'm sure this will grow as he gets older too. But it's something that I need to listen to and trust.
On to another subject...I had a wonderful visit tonight from my friend Elke. She simply came over to hang out and chat. And what a perfect gift for someone in my position. She came over and got me out of my own head for a little while..and that is worth so much right now-more than any gift of clothing, or what not for the baby. So thanks Elke!
Ok-off to night duty.
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