Knowing the Language is Helpful
We have moved to a new country where we don't speak the language. I don't expect anyone to speak MY language. I am the visitor. The expat. The bule. But I have Google Translate on my phone so things will be alright. I can get by. Acquire the things I need, and get to the places I need to go.
However, there are some very good reasons to have a basic understanding of the language that surrounds you. It isn't too difficult to think of the scenarios in which you might find yourself suffering for the non-existent language skills you possess. And you may find yourself soothed by the fact that many people do in fact speak your language, if your language is English. It isn't an obnoxious "American privilege" I speak from but a fact.
But knowing how to say hello, good day, thank you, please and where is the bathroom can only get you so far.
I decided that I needed a haircut and had the afternoon available to do so. I took a taxi to a place a colleague told me about. I wrongly assumed the following:
1. That there was only one location
2. Google Maps could get me there
3. They would speak English. After all, my friend doesn't have a strong command of Bahasa Indonesian and his hair lays upon his head just fine.
But I am not naive. I looked up a picture from the internet of some incredibly good looking guy with a haircut that would suit me. [Yes I know. I don't look like him AT ALL but there is no harm in hoping a haircut may impart come of those striking good looks.] . I also learned the word for short (pendek) and the word for long (panjang) and had big plans to point to different parts of my head and say these words.
I sit in the chair with a smiling barber (all Indonesians smile BTW). I show him the picture. He smiles and says, "Yes" and gets right to work. I see him pull out the clippers so I point to the side of my head and say, "pendek" and then the top and say, "pangang". He smiles and says, "Yes". And then proceeds to shave the sides of my head.
I don't look like that. He is weaving through traffic and finally stops at one of the three stop lights I have seen in this city of 6.4 million, and looks at me. I say the name of the grocery store and he turns right around and speeds through the red light, through traffic and stops next to other scooter drivers and asks where the place is. Now I am thinking I may be have a problem with this driver and at the next stop for traffic, I actually jump off the scooter while saying, "Anda Tidak Go-Jek. Tidak. Tidak" Which is all I know that has any context in this situation and translates to "You. No. Go-Jek. No No." He just smiles and waits for me to get back on because I have hopped off in the center island of a huge road of traffic and crossing a street here is NOT EASY and definitely not safe.
I get back on and we spend 15 minutes driving around in circles at which point I suddenly realize that any place is the place I am looking for and point to a store on the side of the road and say, "ini silahkan" "this please." He pulls over I pay him whatever bill is in my pocket and walk toward the market he stopped at. He calls after me and points at my head and smiles. I am pretty sure he is mocking my haircut.
Then I realize I have walked away with his helmet on my head. I hand it back and text my friend Julie for a ride home.
However, there are some very good reasons to have a basic understanding of the language that surrounds you. It isn't too difficult to think of the scenarios in which you might find yourself suffering for the non-existent language skills you possess. And you may find yourself soothed by the fact that many people do in fact speak your language, if your language is English. It isn't an obnoxious "American privilege" I speak from but a fact.
But knowing how to say hello, good day, thank you, please and where is the bathroom can only get you so far.
I decided that I needed a haircut and had the afternoon available to do so. I took a taxi to a place a colleague told me about. I wrongly assumed the following:
1. That there was only one location
2. Google Maps could get me there
3. They would speak English. After all, my friend doesn't have a strong command of Bahasa Indonesian and his hair lays upon his head just fine.
But I am not naive. I looked up a picture from the internet of some incredibly good looking guy with a haircut that would suit me. [Yes I know. I don't look like him AT ALL but there is no harm in hoping a haircut may impart come of those striking good looks.] . I also learned the word for short (pendek) and the word for long (panjang) and had big plans to point to different parts of my head and say these words.
I sit in the chair with a smiling barber (all Indonesians smile BTW). I show him the picture. He smiles and says, "Yes" and gets right to work. I see him pull out the clippers so I point to the side of my head and say, "pendek" and then the top and say, "pangang". He smiles and says, "Yes". And then proceeds to shave the sides of my head.  |
| Me staring at floor. |
At this point I am a little panicked but I remember the important parts here; hair grows back and life is an experience. I still have the top of my hair. I resolve at this point to just not look in the mirror and just focus on the floor. A few minutes later the barber says, "finish" and I look up to see this. I smile, cuz that is just what you do here. This photo does little justice to the fact that I am nearly bald on the sides and back of my head, and have a strange mohawk with what is left of the hair on top. I calmly pay and walk out in disbelief at what just happened. I stare at the photo of the incredibly good looking guy, and then back at my selfie. Then I check the following online:
- I confirm that it is indeed Sunday
- I search the internet for the keywords, how fast hair grows (it's .5 inch per month BTW)
I take a deep breath and laugh. Not really a stress reliving type of laugh, more of a I-just-went-a-little-insane kind of laugh. The day should be over at this point but I have to get some groceries and I have only 3% battery life. I call Go-Jek, which is a delivery and scooter taxi service. I have no kids with me and I think it might be fun to ride a scooter rather than a taxi. I use the app, put in my destination and request a scooter. Ten seconds later an old man on a dilapidated scooter pulls up and says , "Go-Jek" and hands me a helmet. I get on and he takes off. He is driving kinda crazy and I am a bit worried, but things look faster on the back of a scooter than for the driver so I just hold on.
It becomes very clear that he has no idea where he is taking me, but he doesn't ask me and I figure the app has the info. Turns out he wasn't a Go-Jek driver. Go-Jek drivers wear a special company jacket and helmet and they and their passengers look like this:
It becomes very clear that he has no idea where he is taking me, but he doesn't ask me and I figure the app has the info. Turns out he wasn't a Go-Jek driver. Go-Jek drivers wear a special company jacket and helmet and they and their passengers look like this:
 |
| Everyone smiles on a Go-Jek scooter |
I don't look like that. He is weaving through traffic and finally stops at one of the three stop lights I have seen in this city of 6.4 million, and looks at me. I say the name of the grocery store and he turns right around and speeds through the red light, through traffic and stops next to other scooter drivers and asks where the place is. Now I am thinking I may be have a problem with this driver and at the next stop for traffic, I actually jump off the scooter while saying, "Anda Tidak Go-Jek. Tidak. Tidak" Which is all I know that has any context in this situation and translates to "You. No. Go-Jek. No No." He just smiles and waits for me to get back on because I have hopped off in the center island of a huge road of traffic and crossing a street here is NOT EASY and definitely not safe.
I get back on and we spend 15 minutes driving around in circles at which point I suddenly realize that any place is the place I am looking for and point to a store on the side of the road and say, "ini silahkan" "this please." He pulls over I pay him whatever bill is in my pocket and walk toward the market he stopped at. He calls after me and points at my head and smiles. I am pretty sure he is mocking my haircut.
Then I realize I have walked away with his helmet on my head. I hand it back and text my friend Julie for a ride home.
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